As you all can see, I fell off the True Blood recap wagon in the midst of summer fun. The second half of season five is also partly to blame - it was kind of weak, no? Here is what went down in the rest of season five, how I felt about it, and what I think is in store for the future of True Blood.
Terry and Patrick, chased by the Ifrit fire demon
Ultimately, when Patrick and Terry returned to Bon Temps with the Ifrit hot on their tail, Terry told Arlene what had happened. She and Holly seek out Lafayette's medium-powers to hold a seance and determine how to get rid of the Ifrit. The woman they killed appeared and says one must take the life of the other. Patrick runs his selfish ass right out of there and when he endangers Arlene, Terry shoots him dead and the Ifrit consumes him, leaving Terry and Arlene in peace. Man, Scott Foley's track record ain't so good! He died on Grey's Anatomy last season too.
Sheriff Andy and Holly
Andy's cheating with Maurella the faery has resulted in her pregnancy, which Holly finds out about in the finale when she shows up at Merlotte's and goes into labor. Holly helps deliver the babies - four girls. Maurella then reminds Andy of his pact to keep them safe, and leaves the girls with him before flitting back to the faery world. Holly is not pleased with his infidelity and Andy is dumbstruck that he now must care for four half-faery girls.
Is now packmaster after defeating JD with his layabout father. His dad (played in scruffy glory by Robert Patrick, who I hate from his useless days on the X-Files) gave him some V so he could compete against JD's stupidity. There was not enough shirtlessness from Alcide this season; they better recifty that next year.
Sam and Luna, shot by shifter-haters; Hoyt
Luna, in her rage and agitiation over losing daughter Emma (who went to her grandma wolf and was subsequently taken as a pet by Rev. Steve Newlin when Russell stopped by to distribute his blood to the pack), transforms into Sam at the hospital and becomes very sick. Sam sneaks her out and nurses her back to health. The two devise a plan to get Emma back that involves infiltrating the vampire Authority as wee mice and/or flies - more on this later. We find out that Hoyt has fallen in with the pack of idiots who shot Sam and Luna, and they've kidnapped Jessica so he can kill her and get his revenge.
Hoyt doesn't kill Jessica, of course, and is instead drugged and tossed into a hog pen of the Dragon - the leader of the morons who are killing supernatural folks. Ex-Sheriff Bud Dearborn and some gross woman he's cheating on his wife with are in charge of the whole operation, which Sookie discovers when she stops by to ask about her parents' death. She's also tossed in the pen, but Jason and Andy show up in time to save her and Hoyt, and arrest Bud.
Shortly after, Hoyt decides to leave for Alaska to start a new life on an oil pipeline team. He calls a meeting with Jessica and Jason at Merlotte's, and begs Jessica to glamour him into forgetting about both her and Jason. It was a sad scene, especially for Jason, who lost his best friend. Hoyt departs Bon Temps and the show for his new life.
Lafayette journeys to Mexico to get Jesus' body back and wound up being captured by his crazy uncle and having his lips sewn shut. He escapes and returns to Bon Temps, using some V to heal his wounds and have a little moment with Jesus' spirit. He initially refuses to help Arlene and Holly with the seance as only he can: "Hooker, I ain't in the helpin' business no more. I'm in the fu-k off while I smoke a blunt business and business is about to pick way the fu-k up." His good nature gets the best of him, and he of course assists. LaLa (I love this nickname) also tries to help Sookie figure out who this Warlow vamp character is, who seems to have appeared in spirit form in her house: "Creepy spirit thing, why you in Sookie bathroom?" He has a pretty chill rest of the season, showing up with fabulous eyelashes and making Cajun margaritas for the overworked ladies of Merlotte's. Love him always!
Tara and Pam
These two are exceptional together, mostly due to Pam's dry wit. Tara is working at Fangtasia both on the pole and at the bar, and has a run-in with a former high-school enemy. The girl is a total bitch, and when Tara slaps her down, vamp-style, Pam stops her. However, later Pam 'gives' her to Tara as her slave to drink from and use however she wants. It's a nice bonding moment for the two! They are further bonded, much to Pam's dismay, when a new sheriff of Area 5 comes in to the club. Tara beheads him, and when his mother (the older woman on the Authority Council) comes to look for him, Pam takes the blame and is arrested and brought to the Vampire Authority and locked in a cell. On her way in, she sees Sam Merlotte, who has been captured and held along with Luna and Emma in the cells.
Sookie and Jason
These two were paired up a lot more this season, trying to figure out who killed their parents and going into the faery burlesque house a bunch of times to confab with their cousin, Haeley. Apparently, a long time ago a pact was made by Sookie's great great grandfather to give Warlow the next in the Stackhouse line possessed of faery blood. That would be Sookie. So this a-hole is after her, and that won't be resolved until next season. Sookie did go to seek the help of the Elder faery, who couldn't keep many coherent thoughts in her head, and was then devoured by Russell. Sopokie and the faeries of the realm try to zap him with their light, but it doesn't work. Eric, sensing Sookie in mortal danger, shows up in the field as Russell advances toward the faeries. He stakes Russell, saving Sookie and finally getting his revenge for his human family's death at Russell's hands. Eric then requests both Sookie and Jason's help in the final showdown with the Authority, saying that Sookie is the only one who can reach Bill in his religious fervor and devotion to Lillith and the Sanguinistas. They suit up and head back to the Authority with Eric, picking up Tara (who wants to get Pam back) and Jessica (who escaped Bill's crazy to warn Sookie that Russell was coming) on the way.
The Authority - Bill, Eric, Russell, Steve Newlin, Salome, and Nora
In the aftermath of Roman's death, Salome reveals that she was the one who released Russell from the ground. She becomes head of the Authority and the new Sanguinista regime, and they all drink a drop from the vial of Lillith's blood. They get extremely high and slaughter a karaoke club full of peopleand then have a collective vision of a naked, blood-covered Lillith telling them to drink all the humans. Eric, however, sees Godric, who tells him what they are doing is wrong. Eric, never one for religion, tells Nora and Bill he is against this whole Lillith thing, but they are pretty into it. Godric later again appears to Eric while Lillith appears to Nora (and Bill and Salome, in turn) - Godric tells Eric it's his duty to save his sister, and Lillith tells everyone that she chose them specifically to lead the new Authority. It's pretty gross, by the way.
Eric drugs Nora and clues Bill in to the escape plan so they can get away from Salome, but Bill betrays them and they are locked up. Bill spends much of his time over five episodes screwing Salome and having visions of Lillith - it's quite dull. In the finale, everyone has arrived at the Authority for the final show down. Jason takes out many guards with wooden and silver bullets while Tara, Sookie, Eric and Nora release the prisoners, including Pam. Pam and Tara do a little making out - these two have a crush on each other! It's the best storyline for Tara in the whole series, in my opinion. Luna has shifted into Steve Newlin (we don't see the real Newlin in the finale, Lord knows where he went after witnessing Russell's death) and transforms back into herself on the air, telling America what has happened within the Authority. Sam, transformed as a fly, flies into the mouth of the older woman on the council, and transforms back into himself while inside her, killing her from within.
On their way back out of the Authority with the prisoners, Jason is descending into vampire-hatred, egged on by visions of his parents. He grumbles something about Warlow, and Nora hears him, asking "what do you know about Warlow?" and implying we'll find out more from her next season.
Eric and Sookie go to find Bill, who poisioned the vial of Lillith's supposed blood, which kills Salome after she drinks it all. He has taken the real blood and put it into a separate vial. Sookie and Eric arrive and Sookie tries to reason with him, speaking of his love for her. He denies it, and says he could even have been faking the whole time, reminding her that the night they met, he said vampires often betray those they love. Bill drinks the vial, and 'dies', dissolving into a pool of blood on the floor. However, he is then reformed from the blood, naked and with even more deadly fangs - he looks just like Lillith but you know, as Bill. Eric yells for Sookie to RUN, draws his fangs, and the show ends.
Seeing as I could so easily sum it up in one post, the back six episodes of season five were long on the exposition and a bit silly. That said, the show still contains elements I continue to love. They know how to do a good villain, although I was a bit sad that Russell met his end with very little fanfare. I'm glad it was Eric who took him out - it was destined to be so after Russell's slaughter of his human family. Plus there is only so much swaggering around Russell could have kept doing without becoming stupid. Denis O'Hare did a great job, especially when he dropped Russell's affected Southern accent and screamed at Salome and the council in his native Eastern European voice of doom. His wee romance with newly-out Steve Newlin was also pretty hilarious - the two when out for "Greek food" and drank a whole frat house dry.
Sookie's romantic life was on the back burner this season, probably because Anna Paquin is preggers and was pretty much always blocked from view at the waist. She wasn't fat or anything, but no nudescenes were happening. I like the backstory of her family, and how we keep finding out new things. This new vamp after her, Warlow, is a little odd, but I'll go with it. Jason's vision of their parents are annoying and are not being done propoerly or to great effect. No like. I do enjoy the faery burlesque club, it's weird but fun and very True-Blood. And Sheriff Andy being the dad of four faery girls is hilarious!
The Sam/Luna shifter-killer plotline was lame-o, as was Hoyt's involvement. I was a bit sad at his departure but it was definitely time. The character has done all he can in Bon Temps. Terry and Arlene are also lacking in things to do - they need new storylines as well.
Best parts of the show: Pam and Lafayette. My favorites, hands-down.
Eric is now squarely a good guy, which I like. Bill is a religious zealot, which seems like a major departure for his normally chill character, and he is probably dead for reals and this new incarnation is just the second coming of Lillith, the new evil jerk for next season. ("Billith," as I read online. Ugh.) I'm really sad they did this to poor Bill. He was a badass King of Louisiana, it lent him that dark and brooding quality Eric has in spades and made him a bit more awesome. If he's dead, I'm sad. For him and for Sookie.
Overall, I think I give season five 6.5 out of 10 silver bullets. I am cautiously looking forward to next season, and hopefully the supporting cast will get better stories to tell. I leave you with Lafayette: