Game of Thrones Recap: Kissed By Fire

Another week, another new epsiode of of Game of Thrones! “Kissed By Fire” is the fifth episode this season, marking the halfway point. Only 5 left, very sad. But when they are this good, I suppose we should not complain. Read on for the recap! 

Arya

Well, the Hound and the One-Eyed Man – who has a name, it is Beric – fight, and Beric’s sword is on fire! No matter – after a pretty nice swordfight with lots of growls and yelling, the Hound slices down upon Beric’s shoulder, essentially cutting him in two. The priest of the Lord of Light falls upon his body, and a then he LIVES. What the what. Arya doesn’t know what to make of it either; and she is pretty mad that the Hound gets to go free, and then later she asks Beric if the Lord of Light can bring back men who’ve lost their heads, like her dad. Sad face. Beric shows her his scars and tell her that he’s died six times now – even the Hound’s brother killed him once. Arya is also preparing to get to Camp Stark in Riverrun, and asks Gendry (King Robert’s bastard) to come with her. He refuses, saying he wants to choose his own path, and wants to stay with the Brotherhood. Arya is quite sad this episode.

Camp Stark

Robb is pissed. The lord of house Karstark marched into the castle with some men and killed the two Lannister squires in revenge for the loss of his own sons and soldiers, even though they technically didn’t do anything. Robb is upset that men are flouting his orders left and right, and orders everyone involved to be hanged. Catlin and her brother tell him that if he hangs Lord Karstark, he’ll lose their men, a loss he can’t afford. He angrily beheads Lord Karstark anyway.

Later we see Robb puzzling over his war plans, moving small figures around a table to figure out his next move. His wife Talisa comes in and soothes him a bit, and then he decides he will attack Casterly Rock for revenge on the Lannisters. He will, however, need more men. He realizes that the men he needs are from the house of the girl he was supposed to marry – House Frey. We see a plan forming in a little lightbulb over his head!

Beyond the Wall

Jon Snow and Ygritte finally get it on in a cave with hot springs. Nudity all around!

Camp Baratheon

Stannis goes to see his wife – I completely forgot he had one, with all his carrying on with the Red Woman. She’s pretty messed up, and has three male fetuses floating in jars in her chambers, each a son she lost in pregnancy. NASTY. And she talks to them. She tells Stannis that she forgives him banging the Red Woman, since he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. Another Lord of Light devotee, I see. Stannis is also there to see his young daughter Shireen; she is sweet but has a deformed face, which is probably why we haven’t heard of her. She asks after Davos, but Stannis tells her he is a traitor and is locked up in the dungeons.

Shireen goes to see Davos later, and brings him a book to read. He is grateful but tells her he can’t read – she promises to teach him.

Dany and the Dragons

We only see Daenerys briefly as she is marching her soldiers around. Dismayed upon hearing that the man they have chosen as their lead is named “Grey Worm,” she tells him that all the men are free to choose their own names, be it their born names or something else. The soldier declares his current name lucky, since that is the name he had when Dany rescued him from slavery. She is touched by this display of loyalty.

Jamie and Brienne

Jamie and Brienne are finally brought to Harrenhall by the bandits, who are still treating them like crap. However, the dude in charge there (his name is Bolton) is quite nice to them. He orders them to get cleaned up and Jamie’s infected arm treated. Jamie gets treated but refuses anything to dull the pain.

After that is done with, Jamie trots off to the bathing room, were he finds Brienne soaking in a large tub. He joins her rather than sit in his own tub, and mocks her. She stands up and looks threatening, even naked, and Jamie backs off. He then starts telling the story of becoming the kingslayer. The mad king apparently had been hiding wildfire all over the city (the same they found and used in the Battle of Blackwater). The Mad King apparently ordered Jamie to kill his father and burn the city and all those in it to the ground. Jamie refused and killed the king, which is how Ned Stark found him. Jamie didn’t bother to tell his side of it to Ned, because he knew that Ned had already judged him guilty. After this long speech, he passes out in the tub and Brienne catches him.

Someone ain’t happy

In King’s Landing

Tyrion and Lady Olenna (Margaery’s grandmother and matriarch of House Tyrell) sit down to talk about wedding costs. After some hilarious, off-kilter conversation, Lady Olenna agrees that House Tyrell will split the cost of the royal wedding. Tyrion looks greatly relieved, and Lady O scoffs that after hearing tales of his debauchery, she is disappointed to find a “brow-beaten bookkeeper”.

Elsewhere, Sansa and Margaery watch Sir Lorus and another knight have a swordfighting practice – we later see the two men engaging in a different sort of swordfighting in the bedroom. Too bad the other knight reports back to Little Finger that the plan is to have Sansa marry Sir Lorus. We later see Sansa meet with Little Finger, who tells her she must be absolutely sure about leaving. She seems hesitant now that she thinks she’ll marry Sir Lorus, who is young, handsome, and royal (and gay as a picnic basket).

Sansa is on the mind of Tywin Lannister, who has called a meeting with his children. Tywin says that Sansa is the key to the North, and that whoever marries her will control it, as she is the only heir of Winterfell (since Tywin seems confident that Robb will die in battle trying to take the throne). Tywin then tells Tyrion that he will marry Sansa to preserve the Lannister’s power – Tyrion heartily objects but Tywin insists on obedience. Cersei is sitting there smirking and gloating until Tywin then tells her that she will marry Sir Lorus and cement their relationship with House Tyrell future, and to put to rest the “disgusting rumors” about her and Jamie. She also refuses, and Tywin yells at her two. All the Lannisters are very unhappy right now.

Does anyone else think it’s really gross that a brother and sister – Lorus and Margaery – and to be married to a mother and son – Cersei and Joffrey? Ewwww.

Thoughts: Solid episode, very enjoyable. Everyone tops as usual, Stannis & co are super gross, and I still can’t believe that one-eyed Beric has died 6 times. At least Arya will be getting back to Catlin and Robb soon. And an A+ for the nudity of Jon Snow and Jamie – both hotties with nice rear views, haha. It’s about time it wasn’t all boobs and nasty naked Theon.

Episode Rating: 8 out of 10 dire wolves. Good times! Plots are in the works, and I can’t wait to see some hilarious interactions between Lorus and Cersei. They do have forbidden love in common, and perhaps can chat about the high quality of Jamie’s butt. 

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Written by: Amy Imhoff

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