Greetings, fangbangers and faery lovers! The second episode of this season, “Authority Always Wins,” was a bit of a dud, no? We start with Tara trying to guzzle all of Sookie’s faery blood, but Pam, as her maker, commands her not to hurt Sookie or Lafayette. She instead runs into Tara’s house and starts tearing up the joint. I feel bad for the house. It has suffered greatly! I do not feel for Tara. She continues to annoy, even after Lafayette cuts himself to entice her and Sookie silvers her into the basement bunker to sleep. A bit later, Sookie hears Lafayette in her head, reasoning with himself to stake Tara – the viewers vote yes! But Sookie convinces him otherwise. When Tara wakes up the next night, she declares she won’t forgive either of them, ever, for turning her vampire and rushes away. I see her point, but ::yawn::
Pam, at least, keeps it semi-interesting with her flashbacks to the 1920s. She runs a brothel (this is the perfect job for her!) and is used to finding her girls in a pool of blood; vampire snacks! Later on, Eric saves her from mugging/raping in a top hat and tails – I like this 1920s fashion! Everyone looks great.
Can’t say the same for Bill, Eric, and Nora, who have been taken to the Authority and tossed in cells affixed with burning UV lights. They are all interrogated separately, with silver injected into their veins to get them to talk. One particularly weird dude keeps asking Bill if he believes in the literal interpretation of the vampire Bible – that Lillith was created first, a vampire, and Adam and Eve were created as food. Bill does not, but his torturer does not seem convinced. Those that do believe this have started a movement, the Sanguinistas, and they oppose the whole mainstreaming thing that Nan, Bill, and the Authority are pushing for since, you know, humans outnumber them one-thousand-to-one.
Finally, we meet the Authority. Chris Meloni steps smoothly into his role, both a smart and calculating politician and a religious devotee whose rage is barely concealed below the surface. He administers a blood rite of some sort, praying to Lillith in Latin, and starts lecturing Bill and Eric on their recent stupidity (rock launchers in the street, etc). Our boys decide to strike a bargain – they tell the Authority that they’ll dispose of, for realsies this time, Russell. The Authority is rightfully pissed that Russell is still with us, but agree. Excellent! Bill and Eric, off to fight crime together!
In other plots, Terry is still crazy and sleepwalking and yelling at poor Arlene, and she goes to see Patrick about it. They need to find another member of their unit, I guess? I love Terry and Arlene, but this plotline blows. Also in the suck department – Alcide won’t eat the old packmaster and become the new one (this is all they can do with hot hot Alcide?); Sam and Luna fight and she kicks him out for no actual reason. Then later wakes up to her daughter, transformed into a wolf for the first time. Aw, wolf puppy! Also, Jessica fights with Steve Newlin after he tries to buy Jason from her – the ensuring fight was amusing, but…really? That’s the best we can do?
Jason once again provided fodder for the best moment of the night – apparently he’d slept with some lady a while back, and her son came into the police station all rage and punching, saying his parents were now divorcing over it. Andy was all, “dammit Stackhouse, have you slept with every woman in this town?” and Jason had to admit he was probably close. He also had a hilarious moment with Hoyt’s mama, when she pretended to yell at him, but whispered how pleased she was that Jessica and Hoyt were over, and that she was going to bake Jason a pie!
Pie was the last thing on our minds, however, during the closing shot of the episode – a nastified Russell, all desiccated but chewing on human body parts. He’s getting ready, y’all. Hopefully Sookie’s porch silver-sprayer actually work on him and not just on Tara and her tantrums.
My Thoughts: I’m over Tara, as is the entire TB fan community. Sookie actually has nothing to DO at the moment, neither does Lafayette, Alcide or even Jason (aside from pine for Jessica). Pam is fabulous, and I am looking forward to the Russell-catching exploits that will transpire with Bill and Eric. The Authority was cool – I like the vibe of their hangout.
Episode Rating: 3 out of 10 silver bullets. Did not like. Pam and Jason were brief highlights from the boredom, but it wasn’t enough!
Next week, it looks like there will be some better action sequences. Hope so! Step it up, homies!